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Multiple choice questions.

1) You are arrested in a foreign country on the other side of the world, things look very grim. You get one email asking if you need help. It is from:

A) Your Distributor
B) Your Agent
C) Your Partner
D) An old friend you used to do business with 30 years ago in London

2) Your distributor, your main source of income on hearing of your troubles:

A) Wires you money for a lawyer
B) Calls the American Embassy to see if they can get you out of jail
C) Contacts Amnesty International
D) Invents a shit load of new charges and shorts your Royalties by thirteen thousand dollars.

3) It is your first morning in Jail you have to pay for your own food but the police told you not to have any money in Jail. Somebody shows up with food for you, it is:

A) A contact of your distributor
B) A contact of your Agent
C) Somebody from the American Embassy
D) The owner of the apartment building you were staying in.

4) It is a long holiday week-end, it looks like you are stuck in jail for at least 5 days until everybody goes back to work. Somebody turns up at the jail and contacts a lawyer, a personal friend of the arresting officer, on his day off to come to the jail and arrange bail for you. It is:

A) A contact of your distributor
B) A contact of your Agent
C) Somebody from the American Embassy
D) Barry from the British Consulate who does this every morning and helps all foreigners no matter what country they are from.

5) Your best friend and partner who is living 2 minutes away:

A) Comes to your rescue and bails you out of jail
B) Contacts a lawyer and sends him to the jail with bail money
C) Contacts all of your friends and warns them that they will need to send you money
D) Leaves the country the next day after having posting 2 days earlier on the webmaster boards that he needed a hotel room in the Philippines urgently, then vehemently denies through posts on websites that he was the guy who turned you in, he defines the term ’smear campaign’ on his blog for all of the world to see, yet nobody ever accuses him of anything.

6) You need thousands of dollars in cash at 3 am for bail or you will stay in jail for 3 months waiting for trial. The money is there in 20 minutes, you called:

A) Your Distributor
B) Your Agent
C) Somebody from the American Embassy
D) King Boom-Boom, the only friend you have who didn’t run away.

7) One local newspaper prints a totally fabricated news story that is complete lies. Lists equipment and sex toys that didn’t exist, insults you made to Buddha yet you are a Buddhist, describes extreme police charges but you haven’t yet been charged. This is the article that is posted world wide. It happened because:

A) You were an asshole and smart mouthed the press
B) They were offended by your crimes against the culture of the country
C) You are a foreigner and as such are fair game
D) Because the desktop of your computer had a picture of your wife and 4 year-old daughter on it and you refused to let them take pictures of it to publish in their newspaper.

8) You are out on bail but looking at potential jail time, people are posting information and ‘news’ on the porn chat sites, they:

A) Contact you to find out the truth
B) Rally to your support and wish you well understanding that the charge is owning a website and it could have happened to them
C) Worry that you were ‘ratted out’ by one of our own kind and realize it could happen to anybody who stands in his way of being the only webmaster in that country
D) Print horrible person attacks against you, accusing you of other crimes nothing to do whatsoever with the incident.

9) The word is that at some point you may be offered an opportunity to buy your way out of the situation but it is going to need a lot of money. You:

A) Contact your distributor, confident that as they are making lots of money on your product they will jump at the opportunity to help you out.
B) Contact your clients and ask them to advance you money against future business, confident that as they are making lots of money on your product they will jump at the opportunity to help you out.
C) Contact your agent, confident that as they are making lots of money on your product they will jump at the opportunity to help you out.
D) Realize that King Boom-Boom is the only friend you have in the world right now.

10) You now understand the true colors of the people around you and that the moment you are in trouble they will all rush to fuck you over, you resolve to:

A) Quit the business and buy a fast food franchise
B) Retire as you are getting on in years anyway
C) Write the story and name the names of each person that fucked you over
D) Exact retribution against each person at a place and time of your choosing.

#’s 1 through 9 are all D)
# 10 would be your choice

Posted by John • 08:39 PM

So how was your weekend?
Mine started out on Wednesday when DJ, my Lawyer supreme, called me and said,
“You need come back to Pattaya the police chief is coming back from holiday on Friday and something might happen.”
I said goodbye to my hotel room overlooking the wire fence between Thailand and, well, and another country. I thought twice about bringing the Commando heavy duty wire cutters and decided to leave them with hotel reception incase I came back.
Flying back into Bangkok airport is a ‘fuck you’ experience.
How so?
Well the taxi fare from Pattaya to the airport is 850 Baht but the fare from the airport to Pattaya is 1300 Baht, it pisses me off every time.
I arrived in the early hours of Saturday morning and took a cab to The Queen Victoria Pub The night security guard was waiting to open the back door for me and emerged from the shadows as the cab pulled up in the alley.
There must have been 20 Ladyboys hanging out,
“Hello John”
“We love you John”
“You have never shot me I am a superstar can I come to your room?”
“I want to suck your dick, John!”
“Thank you ladies” I said “It’s been a long flight I’ll see you all tomorrow.”
The guard showed me to my room, it was 4 am I had a meeting with DJ at 1 pm. I slept fitfully for a few hours then gave up and watched a lousy movie on HBO.
After breakfast I rented a motorcycle and drove to Starbucks in the IT centre for coffee, it was just like coming home.
“Well John I have good news and bad news” said DJ
“The good news is I have your computer and camera here, the police chief was afraid to keep it in the police station any longer he was afraid it would get stolen”
“???, wha…??… OK, and the bad news?”
“They are still delaying charging you”
“What the fuck”
“They want to know where your blog is registered and where the server is”
“In America”
“Good that makes their case weaker they think you are operating out of Thailand”
“Well I’m not”
“Did you remove all of the stories you wrote about Prostitutes and sex bars?”
“And you left the ads and links”
“I did but I’m not sure why”
“Because they don’t want you telling the world that we have prostitutes here in Thailand and if they decided to read your stories they might have further charges against you, but to remove the ads and links would be an admission of guilt, so they must stay”
“OK, so now what”
“Well they have 3 months before they have to charge you but the longer they delay it the better for you, it means their case is weak”
“What are my chances?”
“Well if they have a good case which they don’t you could go to jail for 3 years”
I suddenly start thinking about those wire cutters.
“Most likely they will fine you and deport you”
“But that has its own complication. First they will arrest you and put you back in jail a day before the trial. You will plead guilty and be fined, Then you are turned over to Immigration for deportation, but that could take a week or more to process and you can not get bail from the Immigration police, so you could be looking at another week in jail.”
“Any other choices?”
“Well you might be able to make a deal and have the charges dropped”
“The time is not right, yet”
I have had this wart growing on my inner thigh for several weeks now, it is currently 3 inches long and hurts like a mother-fucker. For the last week I have had this whore, sorry, young Thai girl, painting it with acid so that it is half hanging off and hurts so bad I can hardly walk.
This seemed like the perfect time to go to the hospital.
Chuck Wow was with me and really wanted to see them cut me open. We went to The Bangkok Pattaya Hospital and entered the marble halls of the new Dermatology Building.
This place is a cross between the George V Hotel in Paris and one of those palaces that CNN made such a fuss about in Iraq. There are hundreds of ladies in beige linen suits with brown scarves tied at the neck with a rosette running around.
Terrified at the potential cost I am shown in to an office for a consultation with a doctor.
She is gorgeous, small, cute and funny. I want to bang her but it seems inappropriate.
One thing I pride myself on is I can tell the country of origin of any Asian girl, Thai, Japanese, Korean I can spot them in a heartbeat.
She is Japanese and I wonder what she is doing in this hospital, Thais don’t like the Japanese.
“You’re Japanese aren’t you?”
“No, 100% Thai by birth country, 100% Chinese by parents” she said.
“Yes I thought so” I replied
She looked at my wart and shrieked silently.
“That needs to come off”
“If you think that’s horrible you should see the nodules growing under my arms” why can’t I keep my mouth shut!
The outcome was I had surgery Saturday afternoon and again Sunday morning. She removed the wart from my leg, 30 nodules from under my right arm, 12 nodules from under my left arm and 3 from my ass. Each one required a separate injection with the biggest fattest needle in Asian, cutting with scissors and then cauterizing with a laser.
There was one wonderful moment when one of the beige suited ladies was holding my ball sac out of the way of the laser, there were two nurses in tight little uniforms looking at my nuts and I started to think I was in one of my movies. An erection started take effect, the doctor giggled, she was soooooooo cute, the nurses were poking each other and pointing, the lady in the suit flushed red and ran from the room.
Saturday night I lay in bed in agony feeling pretty miserable when Jessica my beautiful wife called me from Brazil, she had had a domestic accident and hurt her new breasts and wanted to know if she could go to the ATM and draw out some money for antibiotics. She called back 30 minutes later, 3 pre-teen street kids were hanging around the ATM, they grabbed my 4 year old daughter and held a knife to her throat until Jessica drew $500 out of each of our three accounts, then they ran off, she still had no money for antibiotics. Jessica was hysterical it took 20 minutes to calm her down, after that I went back to bed and cried for awhile.
Sunday after surgery I changed locations, DJ doesn’t want the police to know where I am so I have to move every 2 days.
I had dinner at Zen my favorite Japanese restaurant in the Royal Garden Plaza and I noticed how easily I slide into the booth.
“I must be loosing weight” I thought “I’ll take a look when I get home”
That night before bed I stripped naked and looked down, I saw two pudgy things protruding from my legs with stubby digits on them.
“My god” I cried “those are my feet”
This stress has stopped me from eating for several weeks now and the effects are just kicking in, then suddenly as if it were a gift from god and for no apparent reason I started to get an erection.
“That’s odd” I thought.
Then I saw it, poking out from under the somewhat reduced mound of flesh clinging to my long forgotten waist line was a pink and purple bell shaped fleshy mound of manhood.
Hello” I said “I haven’t seen you for a few years”
It didn’t answer! Perhaps just as well.

Posted by John • 07:20 AM


Posted by John • 08:51 AM

Posted by John • 08:02 AM

In today’s mailbag:

Hi John T Bone,

As a fan of your blog, I just wanted to let you know that all this underaged/mikesouth/thai id shit is nowhere near as entertaining as your “simpler” posts about trying to find a nice English dinner in the slums of Thailand, or being robbed blind by federal governments, or paying for breast implant surgeries, or your encounters with interesting tenants in the US, or your delightful honesty about the adventures of being an old, tubby gent with a penchant for young whores. Your stories about Assistant Jenny are my favorite.

I’m sure you’ve already either contemplated or researched the profits of pitching a book to some innocent publisher regarding your, well, pretty much your entire life. You have a good number of non-porn-industry readers who revisit your blog because it’s interesting to read. This drama with Mike is boring. Please, a plea from a fan of your oddly eloquent and frequently blathering blog, don’t stop writing about the simpler stuff. It’s much, much more entertaining, and it stands out in the sad realm of porn blogs. Gossip and bitching is easier than writing about what it’s like trying to find a quart of milk in Soi 9, or what it’s really like to deal with police in Brazil.

Your photography is really beautiful. I wish you’d create a Flickr account so we could see your raw photographs as well as the ridiculously pretty ones cherry-picked for your site.

You’re living a life that very few people get to live these days. My grandmother’s advice is good: The most important part of life is documentation. Lawsuits and fighting are well and fine for legal documents and the tiring gossip blogs. Please don’t turn yours into one of those, because you’re a much better storyteller and photographer. And your subtle humor isn’t lost on everyone.


Dear LN,

But…… but I…… I…… it wasn’t my……… he was…….. it’s not my…… you know your right!
How the fuck did I get into this mess?
Sorry folks, I guess I bought my own act for a while there and thought I was more important than my readers.
Not another word OK?
While I appreciate your praise for the photography sadly all I do is choose the ones I publish, the actual pictures are taken by people much more talented than I.
I have many new stories to tell but am impaired by current events. If I ever get out of Thailand alive there is a whole plethora of stories to tell.
Thanks again for the ass-kick.


Posted by John • 07:40 PM

I have just retained the services of Fattorosi & Chisvin, attorneys at law, to litigate on my behalf in the matter of a libel suit against Michael Strother AKA Mike South.

Posted by John • 10:25 AM

I anticipate nothing but cowardly silence from Mickey Big Mouth and as my future freedom is still uncertain I think it prudent to initiate libel proceedings against him immediately, quite frankly I could use the money.
So to my many readers linking from and the industry legal community in general, is there a lawyer who would like to take on this suit for me? Payment would be from US funds, of course.
I think the case is pretty straight forward, I expect him to crumble under initial service of a law suit, as his accusations are completely fabricated. So it is just a matter of setting damages, which with the industry under intense scrutiny by the FBI and his scurrilous accusations that I have committed a Federal crime should be quite substantial, coupled with his advice to store owners to remove my product from the shelves which is a clear interference with my right to do business. There does not appear to be any corporate protection on his assets so assuming he has any money it will not be too difficult to strip him of a substantial sum.
His contact for immediate service is:
South River Video
Michael Strother
3399 Misty Harbor Tr
Doraville, GA 30340
[email protected]

Would interested attorneys please contact me at [email protected].

An interesting side note for scholars, it’s poetic justice, I guess, that this ignoramus’s surname is flagged by spell check as an error.

Posted by John • 07:20 PM

Little Mickey Big Mouth is refusing to answer the accusations of mayhem that Houston Don has laid at his door.
I know nothing of what troubles he has caused for others but I do know what he has said about me.
“Rumors have been rampant that T Bone is shooting underage performers. If you have any of his product on your shelves you might consider your options here, there is no scam that John Bone wouldn’t pull.” and “I have had some pretty good indications that he is shooting underage performers, I have more that I have yet to go through but as of now he is only being accused of it by others, lots of others.”
So here we go Mickey boy, prove it!
Tell us of anybody other than you spreading these rumors! Tell us about these scams that I will pull and back it up with proof! And now of course the big one, share with us the pretty good indications you have that I am shooting underage performers. In fact print anything that backs up your accusations, anything!
Print a complete retraction and tell the world you lied.
Third choice, prove it in a court of law.
Do nothing and when I return I swear on all that I hold true, I will sue you for libel and show you up in a court of law as a vicious liar and know nothing, the very same fate that befell Luke Ford and ran him out of the industry.
BTW the information you almost give about my fate at the hands of the Thai authorities is interesting and I hope read by the Thai Prosecutor who has yet to give his decision to anybody.
There is one other alternative Mike, the guy who is feeding you with these lies is I believe the guy who turned me into the police and that Mike is a real scoop!
Right now only you know who he is, print his name the libel case goes away and you do the industry a real service, ignore me and start saving your pennies for legal representation because in court without proof you loose and my legal costs become yours too.
This isn’t going to go away Mike, it is time for you to be a man and tell the truth.

Posted by John • 11:52 PM

There are two basic rules of journalism, never write anything with malice or reckless abandonment of the truth. Rules that Mick Smith can’t even spell let alone adhere to. For years he has felt safe sitting in his mothers basement spewing hatred for an industry that refuses to recognize him but today he is finally being held accountable for his vicious lies and mean spirited personal attacks. Houston Dan has him squarely in the cross hairs of truth, point by point he holds him up for all to see as a cheat, a liar and a bully. I wait with baited breath to hear this chump defend himself.

Posted by John • 06:23 AM

Let’s stop with the bullshit! I was arrested for owing a website/Blog with ads and links to porno sites. Not for shooting and certainly not for anything to do with ID’s or underage performers. Irrespective of Mike Smith and his stupid near lies “I wouldn’t be surprised if….” or “there might be a possibility that….” or “the FBI might….” there is no suggestion in the charges of anything to do with underage girls. This myth was created last year by one of my competitors who wants Thailand for himself, possibly the very same guy who turned me into the cops.
There is some very dirty pool going on here perpetrated by one of our own kind and perpetuated by fools.
If you click on a link on my site you are taken to another site that I do not own to see porn, the police are accusing me of of operating a site that is a portal enabling people to access porn, my widely reported argument with the police was simply that any cyber café by offering internet access could be accused of the same crime. It also means that any webmaster visiting Thailand for a holiday could be in the same position as me. Mike Smith has invented the underage charges, why? Because he so desperately needs attention?
Mike, the attention you crave comes from doing good work or from being respected by your peers, not by backbiting and rumor mongering. Kicking a man when he is down has all of the trade marks of a school yard bully. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Posted by John • 06:35 PM

I was joking when I made the comment about Mike Smith I didn’t for one minute think anybody would take me seriously. He is an idiot, a liar and a trouble maker but he is confined by his talent and his attitude to the wanna-be market so the thought of him actually being taken seriously by anybody is beyond me. In evidence here is an epistle from his brilliant mind.

‘what i said that if I had evidence that he had shoot underaged performers I would rat him out in a heartbeat, please try to keep up ok? I know I write at such an educated level that you probably cant understand it but read slowly maybe that will help.’

He starts a sentence without the benefit of a capitol letter, he uses a small i for the first person singular rather than a capitol and he uses the word shoot instead of shot. Under aged is two words not one, what he wrote makes no sense at all. Cant is a curious word, I am familiar with can’t, as I am sure many of you are, but without its requisite punctuation the word takes on a life of its own. He then claims to write at ’such an educated level’, what exactly does that mean? This, I should point out is the idiot who spelled his own Blog header wrong and he calls the other guy a moron?????. Hhhhmmmmmm!

Making fun of retards is really cruel but he is such an awful person I feel it is fair game to point out his lack of education whenever the opportunity presents itself. So Mike if you can’t check your spelling and grammar I will do it for you just as often as I have the time.

Posted by John • 09:15 AM

As the first weekend of Songkram comes to an end the police officers and prosecutors are returning to work. This is the week the arresting officers present their case to the prosecutor, if he feels they have sufficient evidence to go to forward I will be rearrested and sent back to jail to await trial. Here is where things are a little murky I can’t find out if I will be able to get bail again or not, so I may have to wait 3 or more months in jail until we go to trial. If you don’t see any posts for the next week or two please forgive me, you will know where I am.

Posted by John • 08:34 AM

Read below. Same shit different day.

Posted by John • 10:06 AM

11:30 am
I am in hiding behind a huge plate of bacon and eggs in The Victoria Arms a British Pub on Soi 6. Stuck in a time warp the sound system is playing ‘We can make it girl’ by Bread, I feel strangely safe.
Outside the street is waking up, whores on motorcycles are arriving by the second. Across the street two fat teen whores in school uniforms exit Dirty Dan’s, one buys flowers for the Buddha the other buys the biggest plate of food I have ever seen a Thai person sit behind. Next door at Fox’s bar a 20 something whore with no make up and normal cloths walks out into the street water gun at the ready. She playfully shoots the street food vendor, he laughs they are usually immune from attack after all they supply the food that these girls eat every hour or so. The whore with the gun checks the bolt action and and pressure on her weapon, satisfied she goes back into her bar. The pudge in the school uniform is busily shoveling food into her mouth with the voracity of David Aaron Clarke after a 20 minute fast.
The sun is shinning onto the concrete road, dust playfully dancing in the shafts of sunlight. the street is quiet, like the last act of the OK Corral you know what is to come.
I drink tea and try not to think about prison.
An extremely beautiful girl comes out of Dirty Dan’s in white hot pants, a pink string bikini top and black high heels, slowly other girls wander out, 4 or 5 of them buy food from a street cart, the total amount is slightly less than the fat girl had bought for herself. A 60 something westerner walks down the street in a white vest and shorts checking the underneath of his sandal on every step, he thinks he has stepped in shit, if only he knew. More girls are arriving faces scrubbed of their usual war paint, sexy clothes traded for camouflage pants and shirts. They wave to each other faking camaraderie soon they will be throwing great globs of water on each other practicing for the afternoon when the brave perverts will stray into the Soi looking for a fuck.
11:45 am
All quiet.
On a normal day there would be several hundred whores sitting outside the bars calling to passing falangs “Hello sexy man” “Buy me dink” “I boom-boom you long time” today nothing, it’s a trap!
Cliff Richard is singing about how we don’t talk anymore, I used to have pictures of him on my bedroom wall in 1962, to my recollection we have never talked. Incense is lazily drifting down the Soi, sacred flowers adorn the doorways of the go-go bars, a car parked outside my observation window is covered in the residue of a mixture of talcum powder and water, another weapon in the arsenal of these girl warriors usually smeared on the faces of falangs not fleet of foot or stupid enough to be caught up in ‘the spirit of the thing’.
A pack of ladyboys slowly walk down the street checking doorways for snipers. Ladyboys always move in packs during daylight for safety reasons, devoid of make up their true gender is more obvious than in the dark of night.
Yesterday around this time the streets were lined with hundreds of water warriors armed with their weapons aquatic patiently waiting for pray until it started to rain then most of them went home, I guess they didn’t want to get wet?????
2:30 pm
Back in my room high over the Soi, CNN is pontificating over and over on Imus and his big sloppy mouth. Down at street level a truck winds it way south with several children in the back clinging to a hug barrel of water, hordes of warrior whores shoot at them indiscriminately, the kids, with silver bowls, scoop pints of water and fling them in defense. The truck passes on. Slim pickings now some of the girls are dousing each other one is even pouring water over her own head, not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Hip-Hop music blares from every bar the warriors dance badly, Asian girls can’t dance, shedding water like the family dog after an unwelcome bath. A group of 50 something year old guys with water pumps venture a few steps into the Soi and get off a few good shots, the girls whoop and descend on them like they were a thousand Baht note. 20 gallons of water flies through the air like a salvo of arrows, too many Indians here and too few cowboys, the guys retreat to a bar the girls continue the onslaught. There are so many sins being washed away here there are rivers of them running down the gutters.
More tourists hit the street middle aged white men in T-shirts and shorts walk the street, they are tarred with the talcum powder mix and seem to enjoy it. An Indian gentleman in a huge white shirt rides his motorcycle to work, he is hit from 3 different directs his bike gets away from him and he skids to the curb. Limping from a banged knee and damaged foot he struggles back onto his bike, a whores runs over and drops an entire bucket of water over him. He manages to brake free and continue his journey as more whores try to repeat his demise.
Two 80 pound cuties wrestle in the middle of the street each trying to tear off the others bra, the bald headed pimps now come out to join the fray, unwelcome gests in this street.
Soggy whore anybody? There is very little fucking going on today, a fact underscored by the few whores who sit quietly inside the bar doors staring at a parade of alcoholically enhanced westerners with all of the desperation of puppies in the pound with 2 days to live. No yabba money today.
7:00 pm
As night falls the water barrels are put away and commerce restores order. One by one the girls fix their hair and make-up their tennies are traded for cum fuck me shoes and the neon lights inform the innocent what is for sale here.
They are changing the guard at Fuckingham Palace.
I step foot outside and breath deeply, this is the first time today I have ventured out. A girl half heartedly shoots a stream of luke warm water onto me.
“You fucking cunt” I tell her
“I know” she says
I head for the Sportsman restaurant mumbling how much I hate Songkram. Pork chops on special tonight yells the chalk board but all to no avail, I fucking hate Songkram.
Tomorrow we get to do it all over again.

Posted by John • 10:14 PM

Songkran started yesterday, this is the festival of the Buddhist new year also know as the ‘Water Festival’. Though only officially a one day festival the madness lasts for 10 days. The original premise is that all of the Buddha images are taken out of the temples and washed. There is also a thing about gently dousing people with water to wash away their sins.
What in fact happens is tens of thousands of Thais line the streets in groups clustered around huge water barrels armed with high powered water guns, and zinc buckets and throw huge volumes of water onto passing tourists riding motorcycles, causing them to crash. The aim is to put as many foreign tourists as possible into the hospitals, extra nurses and doctors come in from all over the country to take their money.
The crafty Thais disguise the real purpose of the festival by throwing water on each other and laughing a lot, seemingly having a good time.
The money that the hospitals earn during these 10 days is sufficient to pay their bills for the entire fiscal year. I hear that representatives of the failing British National Health Organization are here studying the festive with an eye to starting a similar festival in Britain to help pay for their health care needs.
All of my friends are currently in the Philippines staying safe and dry whilst a few Germans hankering back to better times have joined the violence and are currently planning a move on Poland. I will be in my room if anybody wants me.

Posted by John • 08:30 PM

Just a few quick notes, it is difficult to be funny at the present time. I am out on bail due to the efforts of Barry from the British Consulate, DJ my super lawyer and King Boom-Boom who is the best friend a man could ever have. I know very little about what is going on, much less in fact than the people who are posting on the boards.
Yes I was sold out by an American.
And no I don’t know who it was.
My guess would be the idiot redneck Mike Smith who seems to dedicate his life to my demise, at least on his blog, but he isn’t a player in this game so I have no idea.
I am waiting to hear from the Police Prosecutor as to what is going to happen next but we are entering a long holiday weekend so it will be at least next week before we know anything.
Have a nice weekend, and try not to worry!

Posted by John • 10:14 AM

The reports of my incarceration are are greatly exaggerated.

Posted by John • 05:58 PM


Laurie wrote back this morning and this time sent me a picture:

Hi John,

Thanks for the quick response. I thought it might take ages. Hopefully you’re leg is feeling better and your face is a bit less swollen.

I am 25, which I think seems to put me on the aged side. Feel free to disagree with me.

The Finnish porn scene pretty much in anything is near non-existant on the international side, which is true with any two-bit country. I was thinking of relocating anyways, so that is a non-issue. The United States I don’t like to begin with so I would not like moving there.

I was thinking that if I was to do porn (yes I am still sitting on the fence about it), would be doing hardcore porn, so the idea of two cocks up my ass (preferably not in the same hole, but hey I am willing to see if it can be done) is not that frightening. My own personal comfort zone ends in bestiality and watersports also are turn off (I blame 120 days of Soddom & Gomorrah, which I saw when I was 19).

I have to admit I thought about web-based, but it seems everyone and their grandmother is doing internet porn today though. So it would have to be somehow “special”, which is always the hard part… I was even thinking maybe the Japanese market, I hear that having western girls submitting to older businessmen is a big turn on there.

Sorry, I am rambling. I have a bad habit of thinking in terms of processes and I have had a long day.

All the best to the man across the globe


Here is my reply:

There is a strong leaning towards 18 year old mindless bimbos in the marketplace it is part of the misogynistic porn trend but by no means does that preclude others, there is a market for all types of women. Your picture is terrific it puts you into the ‘model type’ so popular with the producers of high quality porn. It is a shame you didn’t send me a nude picture, as I still know noting of your body, breasts and tattoo situation. If you have a tall slender body and small perky breasts as your picture suggests you are a winner. Your age is irrelevant as you would be looking to a much more sophisticated market than the teenie gonzo crap that is churned out by the shit load every day. If your body is as good as your face you could be looking to a contract with a top company or at the least an association with the worlds top shooters. I am thinking Prague might be a good place for you to investigate your potential or a really good American agent to introduce your pictures to American companies that shoot in Europe.
Step one make a decision, but remember porn is for ever, the movie you make today will still be around in 20 years.
Step two, this business is a career not party central, a fact that eludes most girls, you will make the most money in your first year, $200,000 is not beyond your reach, make sure you have some of it left at the end of the year, most girls don’t.
Two dicks up your ass is the limit you will be asked for, if you are asked to do watersports or bestiality you are working for the wrong people.
The reason everybody and their grandmother is doing internet porn is because that is where the money is and unlike the DVD market where you get paid one time for your work with the internet you own your own product and it keeps earning for you forever. Doing something ‘special’ is called marketing, working with an expert in this field is what you need, you are not going to come up with the ideas yourself as you have no experience of what has been tried and failed. Forget the Japanese thing!
If you wish to continue our correspondence you need to make a commitment to working in the industry and to send me a few nude pictures, with that we can work out a plan for you.


If anybody else has an opinion or helpfull ideas please email me the address is at the top of the blog

Posted by John • 09:39 PM